The Return to In Person Classes Means Excitement for Many, and Dread for Others.
Emily Hill roles out of bed at 9 a.m.; her class starts in 15 minutes, but she isn’t rushing out the door. Downstairs her mother makes her a fresh breakfast of granola and scrambled eggs. She sits down at the desk in the corner of her room after brushing her hair and donning an Oxford University T-shirt. Zoom is already open on her desktop and she clicks to join her first class of the day. She turns the camera on and off as she pleases and takes her notes free from the distractions of anything else.
It is a pressure free school environment. There is no discrimination and no performative pressure, and it is an environment many students have come to love.
Charlotte-Mecklenburg County schools have been learning virtually since March of 2020, some students have already returned to in person classes for the spring while others wait for next fall. The general mood for returning is excitement, but more students than you might think are dreading that change.
For students like Emily, who have become accustomed to learning virtually and staying home, the coming return to in person instruction can be intimidating.
“Being home feels like a safe space but being at school well it’s good in some ways but not others,” said Hill.
Evelyn Ross is a seventh grader at Alexander Graham Middle School. She was excited for the chance to come back to school after being out for nearly a full year, but the return did not meet her expectations.
“It’s easy to get into a simple routine, wake up and roll to class, it’s like all right there,” adding “and for things like tests, exams, standardized tests, it’s definitely easier to do at home,” she said.
When her school offered optional virtual learning after Christmas break, Evelyn jumped on the opportunity to go back to her more relaxed routine.
That relaxation is hard to pass up for many kids. Especially those with learning disabilities or other challenges. This is the case for Tanner Adams of Randolph High School whose dyslexia has always made the classroom challenging.
Being in class at one of the largest high schools in Charlotte means less personal attention is devoted to Tanner and his progress. At home this is not the case. While at ease, Tanner’s dyslexia has become less of an impediment and it makes the prospect of returning to school even more intimidating.
At home, the pressures of school can be avoided. There is no early wake up to avoid traffic, there is no rush to get out the door, there are no awkward lunchroom interactions or uncomfortable comments from peers and teachers. It is a sanctuary of comfortability, but the benefits of being at home go far beyond a comfortable desk chair or a few extra minutes of sleep.
Kiera Sky is a sophomore at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte and her experience at home has helped not only her academic performance, but also her mental well-being. Kiera comes from a mixed-race household and the ambiguity of her identity has long been a point of struggle in her life.
“Everyone who’s mixed has looked around a classroom and thought like no one here looks like me, especially in Charlotte,” she said.
In the large lecture halls of her freshman year, Kiera often felt othered by students that didn’t look like her. It affected her mental health and her performance in school. That feeling, the feeling that she did not belong, never went away in the seven months she spent at UNCC. It was not until the COVID-19 pandemic gripped the United States and forced Kiera to move back home that she was able to curb those feelings of ostracism.
“It’s comforting. For people, people like myself, who don’t really feel like they fit in all the way with one group or another,” she said.
Like Kiera, Jed Street has always had issues fitting in.
After graduating virtually in their living room last year, Jed, a freshman at Davidson College, has never known what an in-person college experience is like. After a toilsome four years at West Charlotte High School, Jed is relishing in the opportunity of a college experience without the demand of in person classes.
“Class is emotionally exhausting. Having to worry about what I look like and how that means people will see me is… exhausting,” they said.
Jed grew up in a family full of nonbinary and queer people. At home they feel like they can be themselves, but in the classroom it’s a constant struggle to appear how people expect them to be. Street uses gender neutral pronouns but is often misgendered by peers and professors.
“It’s emotionally draining,” they said. “College and my course load is stressful enough without constantly thinking about how I appear and how others think about me,” they said.
Meyers Colmenares is familiar with that same mental toll.
Attending ninth grade at Charlotte Country Day, the whitest school in the Charlotte area, has been challenging for Meyers who is Latino.
“I experienced racism the first time in class,” said Meyers.
Meyers recalls one particular story from two years ago. The subject of the class had shifted to racist encounters and experiences. The entire class turned in their seats to look at him, every eye in the room was on Meyers. He knew he was experiencing a racist encounter in that moment.
There were a few months of reprieve after the pandemic began in March. There were less eyes on him at any given time. Meyers could even turn off his camera on Zoom. It did not last long. Charlotte Country Day returned to in-person classes that fall and the sanctity of at home learning was gone.
“Being the only latino in a room full of white kids is something I didn’t have to think about, and yeah that was nice,” he said.
That time is now gone, for Meyers and for other students like him who saw their experience as a brief but necessary reprieve from tradition. While some students will welcome that with open arms, others will long for their time at home and all the peace that came with it.
-Henry Long
